Close
I wake up in a field of barley. Golden stalks swinging gently in the wind. The sky is untarnished with clouds, the sun shines undisturbed. I’m not sure where I am. But I’m on my feet and I’m moving. Dust kicks up as I walk, crickets stop their symphony and leap away with every step I take. I see a row of trees along the edge of the field, I hear the trickle of water underneath their shady branches.
I’m walking alongside the stream now. Following the tree line. I feel very alone. The stream is widening, the water slows down and spreads. The banks burst with reeds and sand. Mating dragonflies dance, diving to catch hatching mosquitos from the surface of the water. The stream is a river now. I feel very tired. I sit down on the trunk of a fallen tree, its branches hanging in the water, dragging in the current.
A frog jumps away from my feet into the river. I must have startled it. It starts swimming across to the other side. It doesn’t see the water-snake until its less than an inch away. It tries kicking it away with its back legs. The snake darts closer. The frog dives down. It’s too late. The snake winds around its body. The frog struggles to get free. The snake tightens. The frog twists. It’s getting loose. The snake is unrelenting. It bites the frog’s front leg, holding it in place. The snake tightens again. The frog goes still.
I wake up to you shaking me. You ask if I’m alright. You say I was squeezing you so hard you couldn’t breathe. You’ve turned the bed lamp on. I start to tell you about my dream. You laugh about the field of barley, isn’t that from a Sting song? I finish telling you about my dream. You compare yourself to the frog. Mr Frog and Miss Snake. You croak and get up to make us coffees.
We’re still lying in bed. With your head on my chest. Your hot breath sweeps over me. Your hand traces my waist. You’re everywhere. Not a man but a liquid. Soaking into my every pore. Covering every inch of me. Your hand moves down. Your tracing is taking another route. It sparks something. I whisper. I want you.
Your head is in between my legs. You know how hard it is for me to finish. I told you it was a side-effect our first time. I remember you smiling. Taking it as a challenge. I know you’re smiling just the same now. My hand is in your hair. My eyes are closed. I feel very close. I’m so close. You stop for just a second and the rising tide pulls back. You start again but I know there’s no point. I’m sorry. I pull you up. I’m sorry. You kiss me and tell me it’s alright.